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Stories About Abortion Matter
In the Netflix show Sex Education, one of the characters has an abortion. Since the show takes place in England, the young woman didn’t have to deal with many of the pitfalls the United States has put in place to harass women. There was no waiting period, no requirement for parental permission, no desperate search for a nearby clinic, no fee and minimal protest. The procedure itself was portrayed as relatively simple but the show didn’t shy away from the complex emotions that can accompany the experience. I was grateful for that. Women respond very differently to their circumstances and experiences. Why should abortion be any different?
That’s the kicker for those of us across the pond. We’ve turned abortion into such a highly contentious issue that women who’ve had abortions practically have been forced to be silent about it. Who can blame them? The general willingness of abortion foes to resort to violence (ranging from online harassment and stalking to verbal altercations and murder) makes it a safety issue. But what this silence means is that the general public knows very little about abortion. Some even believe that abortion is rare instead of being one of the most common medical procedures women undergo. Many have no idea what an abortion entails or how women experience it.
Not me though. As a family psychologist, I’m on the front lines, hearing first-hand from women themselves. I’ve been there when women agonized over what to do and when they expressed relief that it was over. I’ve heard from women who have had both an abortion and an adoption, mentioning that of the two, adoption was worse. I’ve listened to women who suffered through late-term abortions of pregnancies that were incredibly wanted and talked with others who had an abortion early and just shrugged it off. Each story was unique but what they all had in common was the secrecy surrounding the procedure. Every single woman was desperate to find someone non-judgmental who would listen.
While I’ve always been an advocate for women’s productive freedom, it wasn’t until I hit my doctoral internship that I gave a lot of thought to the impact of abortion on the women who’ve had one. I’d kept up with the headlines and read about clinic blockades and the brave volunteers who fought for women’s rights but knew little of the intimate details. All that changed…
